Mark Steel

@mrmarksteel

Mark Steel is a stand-up comedian, radio presenter and Independent columnist. He enjoys writing his column because no one ever takes it literally.

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Mark SteelWatching Tim Martin squirm almost makes Brexit worth it

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Mark SteelMissiles launched ‘by both sides’ – let’s take a closer look at that

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Mark SteelHancock is useless? Glad the PM cares about dealing with Covid-19

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Mark SteelGood job England fans have rumbled the Marxist plot behind the Euros

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Mark SteelThanks, Dom, for waiting a year to tell us people needlessly died

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Mark SteelLondon is home of the metropolitan elite? Try saying that in Romford

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Mark SteelNothing says ‘easiest trade deal in history’ like gunboats in Jersey

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Mark SteelGive what you can to Boris Johnson – he needs a dove grey wine console

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Mark SteelCome on, don’t blame the founders of the European Super League

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Mark SteelHow I think we should honour Prince Philip

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Mark SteelDiscipline and order? The feral kids are the ones in Westminster

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Mark SteelWe can all agree race report was a success – except for these points

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Mark SteelApparently ‘greed’ got us through pandemic, not kindness and the NHS

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Mark SteelYes, if we’re serious about stopping Covid, we must arrest more women

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Mark SteelJust imagine the royal family on The Jeremy Kyle Show

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Mark SteelA love letter to the magnificent Rishi Sunak

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Mark SteelChildren are keen to get back to school, apparently. Sorry, what?

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Mark SteelBeing an enraged, incoherent commentator is now a full-time job

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Mark SteelDoes anyone know if the Labour Party is still going?

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Mark SteelPM could have honoured Captain Tom by funding NHS – he clapped instead

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Mark SteelConspiracy theories, eh? Check out this one about da Vinci and Covid

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Mark SteelWith Trump gone, who will take up the craziness? Probably the UK

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Mark SteelThese food parcels will last a week – if your child is a millipede

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Mark SteelAppealing for Trump to see sense always works– so let’s keep doing it

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Mark SteelHere’s to the beaming nation of happiness Brexit has made us

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Mark SteelDo we see in Johnson the authority he admires in Churchill? We do not

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Mark SteelBoris Johnson will be throwing in some DVDs and a wheelbarrow soon

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Mark SteelHistorians must remind us when stories about the royals are inaccurate

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Mark SteelLockdown to tier 3 and back again – and no idea what any of it means

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Mark SteelWant a multimillion PPE government contract? Just befriend a Tory MP

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Mark SteelWe always suspected Downing Street was run by children

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Mark SteelBe prepared for the biggest Trump meltdown the world has ever seen

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Mark SteelWhy a Trump loss will reveal who Boris Johnson really was all along

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Mark SteelRashford should set up a faulty test and trace system to get funding

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Mark SteelThe government has mastered test and trace – for appointing insiders

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Mark SteelWhat’s next for this northern lockdown? Telling us when to breathe?

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Mark SteelPriti Patel is trying to keep migrants safe – by using wave machines

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Mark Steel We’re all wrong for not predicting knee-jerk coronavirus rules

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Mark SteelFear not, Boris is coming with Moonshot to zap the virus into space

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Mark SteelJoe Biden needs to tap into Trump’s conspiracy theories to win

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Mark SteelWe don’t even need a real boycott to be angry about ‘Rule, Britannia’

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Mark SteelThe new way of governing: announce a stupid policy, abandon and repeat

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Mark SteelFarage is right, migrants should do some honest work and hold a pint

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Mark SteelThe government ordered 50 million unusable masks. Bless them

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Mark SteelAnnunziata Rees-Mogg’s potato advice is the key to ending food poverty

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Mark SteelWhen it comes to Brexit, British interference got us into this mess

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Mark SteelWearing masks from 24 July is a good idea. There's no point in rushing

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Mark SteelLet’s blame the care homes – for following government advice

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Mark SteelLockdown is now based on our cravings – so let's go down the pub

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Mark SteelThe 4 July will be Boris Day, to celebrate true greatness

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Mark SteelThank God Raab is here to teach us what taking a knee really means

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Mark SteelProtesters who toppled Colston’s statue should invoice the council

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Mark SteelTrump seems to think it’s essential to be violent against people

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Mark SteelNow it’s our turn to make up stories when we want to break the rules

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Mark SteelDear Johnny Foreigner, you've saved our lives, now fork over the cash

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Mark SteelThe death toll is high – but at least our commutes are exciting now

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Mark SteelWith all this misinformation, let’s just stop counting Covid-19 deaths

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Mark SteelIf paper towels are PPE, my kitchen is a hospital

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Mark SteelWith science on the government’s side, you won’t need to criticise it

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Mark SteelNow’s no time for hard questions about Covid-19, it seems

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Mark SteelWe might as well use a lottery draw for updates on coronavirus figures

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Mark Steel30 ventilators is en route to 30,000 – the Co-op's en route to Kenya

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Mark SteelAt least Johnson is a laugh – pragmatism would’ve been so boring

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Mark SteelHow convenient for Johnson that the science on coronavirus changed

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Mark SteelThank God we have Trump to build that coronavirus wall

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Mark SteelWe’re getting chlorinated chicken, so let’s have voter suppression too

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Mark SteelHow to reduce homelessness: classify a park bench as a studio flat

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Mark SteelSupermarkets will be so much nicer once migrant staff are deported

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Mark SteelThe Tories didn’t learn from the Windrush scandal – they made it worse

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Mark SteelThe shambolic Democrats have made the news watchable again

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Mark SteelBrexit day is near and we’ll be free to drink all the bad wine we want

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Mark SteelThe woke brigade are so powerful, the only job open to us is PM

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Mark SteelWho needs scientists when we have Hancock to solve the climate crisis?

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Mark SteelThe young royals are stepping back so Meghan can run for Labour leader

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Mark SteelLabour doesn’t need a ‘likeable’ leader – it needs a competent one

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Mark SteelLabour is too busy barking at its own reflection to fix this

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Mark SteelLabour's working class voters are now Hove baristas

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Mark SteelNobody asking you to go on holiday with Jeremy Corbyn

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Mark SteelJohnson’s avoiding the climate debate and I find that very reassuring

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Mark SteelPriti Patel thinks government has no control over your finances

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Mark SteelJohnson’s sputtering tour makes May’s look like a model campaign

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Mark SteelYou almost wonder if the Tories are being this inept on purpose

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Mark SteelAfter nine years, the Tories say ‘Britain deserves better’ than them

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Mark SteelIs Britain really so bored we'll let a sociopath do whatever he wants?