As the England World Cup squad arrived back at Heathrow late last night, the blast of cool air and the hint of drizzle will have been a welcome sensation. Foreign travel is all very well but there's nothing quite so comforting as arriving home to a damp, English summer's evening.

The players and coaches will have been touched also by the acclaim of the public and press. Unlike 1998, there has been no recrimination and no "scape-goating" of individuals. Back then, David Beckham was more or less lynched, both in word and effigy. In the aftermath of Friday's defeat, Beckham was the first to step in front of the beleaguered goalkeeper David Seaman to protect him.

But we have changed since then, having learnt that taking national frustrations out on an individual is self-defeating – unless he happens to be a politician. Seaman, inconsolable after the match, will probably now be treated with a lot more sympathy than any 38-year-old man with a ponytail deserves.

In due course, he is likely to get a dressing-room ribbing on a regular basis, and Spurs fans will be keen to recall a 50-yard lobbed goal by their former player Nayim against Seaman in a European final a few years back. But Seaman, a bloke with a hearty chuckle and good sense of humour, will almost certainly receive several invitations to take part in one of those ad campaigns, for Hamlet cigars, say, that laugh at the little defeats in life.

This will be in keeping with the public's wry reaction to England's defeat, which contrasted with the violent riots in Moscow and Cordoba that followed the exits of Russia and Argentina. The vast crowds that had gathered in Trafalgar Square to watch the game drifted away peacefully.

The great public statements from the Queen and Prime Minister about "sadness" and "devastation" were, for once, as over the top as a Brazilian tackle. Disappointment, not devastation, seemed to be the dominant emotion. Fans went shopping yesterday, still wearing their replica England shirts as there was no embarrassment to be felt. "We got further than we expected," was the most common phrase in the pubs and cyberspace chatrooms.

Indeed, with Wimbledon starting tomorrow, a Test series against India due soon and the Commonwealth Games opening in Manchester next month, "we got further than we expected" will do nicely as a national mantra. Tim Henman, who bears the burden of expectation for Wimbledon, will be very grateful that we seem to have become better at gracious losing.

This doesn't necessarily mean that Henman won't win – he has one of the easiest draws in a Grand Slam tournament for ages – but perhaps that there might be less rabid pressure on him to do so. It is, after all, 66 years since an Englishman, Fred Perry, won the singles title, rather than the mere 36 years since we won the World Cup. We have to be content with smaller victories.

The England team and the fans out in Japan have been highly praised by the locals for their good behaviour and sporting conduct, all of which came from a sense of perspective. Indeed, most of them could chart the ascent from the low moment of a home defeat by Germany, at a crumbling, sodden Wembley stadium just 20 months ago.

Since then, we've thumped Germany 5-1 in their own backyard; qualified for the World Cup; appointed our first foreign national football coach without too much resentment; paid Argentina back for the "Hand of God" goal and Beckham's red card; and finished in the top eight teams at the World Cup.

This is a cause neither for dismay nor for vainglorious expectation. We have a core of very good, young players who can only improve if they have learnt from the experience of playing at tournament level. We have a calm, articulate coach, even though English isn't his first language.

In the wider context, our tabloids have been forced to turn away from crude "dog-eating", "inscrutable Asian" clichés, and we've been able to reclaim the Cross of St George as our national flag from the far right. The crowds lining up for Wimbledon and Lord's later won't be slavering for an English victory. Most will be humorously pessimistic about our chances – as long as the Germans don't win the World Cup.