Romelu Lukaku scores four as Everton run riot against Bournemouth, a team now looking over their shoulder
Everton 6-3 Bournemouth: The Belgian forward was in irresistible form in a nine-goal thriller at Goodison Park
Simon Francis applied his hands to his head; a horrific expression extending across his face which probably revealed inwardly he was thinking, “Oh no, what have I done?”
Eddie Howe stared into the middle distance. His assistant Jason Tindall, bowed, looked at the grass. Many of Bournemouth’s players mirrored him. Half an hour gone at Goodison Park and, because of Francis’s mistake, Everton were 3-0 up already.
Considering Bournemouth lost convincingly at home to Crystal Palace in midweek, considering too Palace followed that result by being trounced by Sunderland – previously the Premier League’s bottom placed team; you know where Bournemouth are at the moment: seven points above the relegation zone but looking like a team that could get sucked into it.
Their defending has been awful at times this season and Howe tried to do something different here by starting with a back three instead of a back four. It was an experiment that did not work and one that lasted 45 minutes before getting scrapped. Though Bournemouth improved after the break – their attacking play very impressive in phases – when you defend terribly and Romelu Lukaku is around, you have endings like this.
Lukaku scored four times for Everton. He is now the Premier League’s top scorer and has been involved in 47 of Everton’s goals since the start of last season.
There was a peculiar subplot to his opener. On page 56 of the matchday programme, Gavin Buckland, Everton’s historian, had compiled an article about early goals. ‘There is the sense of the unreal when one is scored in the opening seconds,’ he wrote. ‘With no prior ebb and flow to the game, the crowd and players never appear fully prepared for the impact of the ball hitting the back of the net.’
Having mentioned that the fastest Everton at Goodison Park in the Premier League era had been a David Unsworth thumper after 32 seconds against Manchester United, Buckland finished the piece with a warning. ‘There has not been a faster goal by an Everton player since. You never know when the next one will be, so make sure you are in your seat in time to see the kick off today.’
The opening 31 seconds went something like this: Joshua King conceded a free kick immediately after the first backwards pass from the Everton kick off; Seamus Coleman booted the ball up the wing; Dan Gosling got his pass to Harry Arter all wrong; Morgan Schneiderlin intercepted and fed possession to Lukaku. From there, there seemed much to do but Artur Boruc, the Bournemouth goalkeeper, was not prepared for what followed: a shot that flew past him, leaving everyone to ponder whether Buckland, who might claim some sort of involvement in the goal, is actually a modern prophet.
Everton had a new record. Bournemouth had a mountain to climb, a mountain that became bigger and bigger. By minute 30, Everton’s victory was secure because they were 3-0 up and Bournemouth were making so many mistakes, it was embarrassing. James McCarthy extended Everton’s lead at the second attempt with a bobbling shot that Boruc should have saved. Everton’s third was the worst of the lot from a Bournemouth perspective, with Francis forgetting rule number one all defenders are taught as children: never pass across your own box; particularly if that box is situated in front of the Gwladys Street stand and the only person standing in it is Lukaku.
For that, Francis was hooked by Howe at half-time and so was Gosling. Nobody would have predicted the pattern that came: Bournemouth dominating possession; scoring twice as they did through Joshua King. Everton’s play became sloppy; Bournemouth were invigorated and an improbable equaliser nearly arrived, firstly through Marc Pugh’s shot – when he should have chosen instead to supply Jack Wilshere; and then through Harry Arter, whose volley made Goodison a touch nervous.
A Lukaku volley represented his hat-trick before Ross Barkley’s back-heel released the Belgian for his fourth. Though Arter had appeared to make the scoreline slightly more respectable for Bournemouth, Barkley scored Everton’s sixth by rounding Boruc and celebrated the goal the by raising his hands before he’d even released a shot.
And finally, that was that.
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