'The cafe I go to most is a greasy spoon with no name opposite Tufnell Park tube station, Fortress Rd, London N19. It's run by a nice Irish woman called Jackie, the windows are always steamed up and it's open to 9pm, so I go there if I want a two-and-a-half quid dinner. There's no decor, just a phone on the wall and some papers, usually the pink bit from the Evening Standard that everyone throws away. The clientele are mainly Irish men and old ladies. The pie, mash, peas and gravy is a winner, but the best thing is that you can get your fags on the bill.

The Comedy Cafe, 66 Rivington St EC2 (071-739 5706) is open late; a lot of comedians cross town to go there after work. There's a scruffy upstairs room where you can drink til about 2am. Noel, the boss, is very easy-going.

If I want to make an impression on someone I'll go to the Window on the World, on top of the Hilton Hotel, 22 Park Lane W1 (071-493 8000). You have to put on proper trousers, and the waiters don't like more than two sharing a table, so don't ask to sit down with someone by the window. The view's great, though inside it's all velour pouffes, cocktails and chrome.

I sometimes go to Belgo, a Belgian restaurant in Camden, 72 Chalk Farm Rd, London NW1 (071-267 0718) for the moules frites. It's handy for the Jongleurs comedy club over the road.

On Ko Samui, a Thai island, the Bob Marley Bar is good. It's a wooden place that is used by Vietnam casualties making their way back. Also, I like the Woodstock Cafe in Pusher St, Christiana, which is a part of Copenhagen where the hippies have declared an independent state. The police leave them alone, except evey now and again they remove the smackheads and bikers.'

Jeff Green, stand-up, hosts the 'Comedy Club', LWT, Sat nights from 5 Feb. Live 11-12 Feb, Jongleurs, Lavender Gdns, London SW11