What's the secret to Danny Dyer's success?
Over the last decade, the UFO believer has gone from playing cockney geezers in straight-to-DVD misfires (Jack Said, Basement, Malice in Wonderland ) to being a wise-cracking national treasure with a primetime BBC history show.
Joining the cast of Eastenders in 2013 was arguably the biggest turning point for Dyer, but there was something else the 41-year-old Brit did a year before that had everyone talking: he joined Twitter .
The social media platform proved the perfect place for the straight-talking, no-nonsense British blokey-bloke to speak his mind, offering the world a daily 140-character length look into his mind.
Dyer has only gone from strength to strength since, appearing on talk shows , delivering Channel 4's alternative Christmas speech , and giving two excellent acceptance speeches at the National Television Awards.
Below are 32 of his best quotes from the last decade.
They [politicians] don’t give a fuck. This ‘us against them’ type vibe has got worse. We are living in an age of food banks. How the fuck did that happen? Seriously. Politicians are just floundering around.
Rex features
Who knows about Brexit? No one has got a fucking clue what Brexit is, yeah. You watch Question Time, it’s comedy. No one knows what it is – it’s like this mad riddle that no one knows what it is, right?
Good Evening Britain/ITV
So what’s happened to that twat David Cameron who called it on? Where is he? He’s in Europe, in Nice, with his trotters up, yeah? Where is the geezer? I think he should be held to account for it. Twat.
ITV/Rex
Farage, another prick in a suit who tapped in to something – and I suppose it is that white working-class, middle-age man who lost his voice slightly. He [Farage] tapped into what he felt maybe they wanted to say and twisted it.
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I mean where are our leaders? Where are they? There’s been more backstabbing than we have in Albert Square.
Jack Barnes/BBC
Is it me or is this geezer completely off his strange-looking nut?
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What an absolute melt… He don’t want to turn up to memorials because it’s raining. He don’t fancy a little trip to Britain because there’s people here that just don’t like him. Leave off.
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Can’t believe it’s nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the Twin Towers. It still freaks my nut out to this day.
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I think I’m going to treat myself to a ruff… Just get a massive ruff, just bowl about with it and if anyone questions it then I’ll explain to them why I’m wearing a ruff.
BBC
You probably ain’t got a clue who I am… Go out tonight and get off your fucking nut. Enjoy yourself!
BBC
If the body is a temple, mine’s a fucking windowless shed.
Rex
I hate that early bird. You know, the one who catches the worm. Get back in ya nest ya feathery little mug.
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Well, that was weird. Found a lovely pond. Not a fucking duck in sight. Maybe they was shy. Or maybe they was arrogant pricks.
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Just whacked me tree up. It’s looking slightly camp this year. Can’t work out how to give it a pair of bollocks.
Channel 4
No-one ever asks Santa what he wants for Christmas. Bless him. The fat, bearded p***head.
PA
You're just one of them that will not believe. I would love an alien to come down and give you a little visit. I would pay good money for that.
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Danny DyerIt was a real lesson. My new favourite long word is ‘Discomfuckingbobulate’. Rachel [Riley] didn’t know what fucking hit her.
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I want to thank me mum and dad for having a roll-about in 1977 and conceiving me!
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I just want to say to all you young kids living out there in poverty, who says they don't have the right to dream? Do not let where you come from dictate, define, what you can do in life.
(Photo by Stuart C. Wilson/Getty Images)
When did Katie Hopkins realise her face looks like someone’s punched a lasagne. Twice.
BBC
Wednesday's shit. Monday and Tuesday, you know where you stand. Thursday's alright. But Wednesday? You’re never gonna be Friday, ya midweek prick.
Guy Levy/Channel 5
If we didn’t have thumbs we could never enjoy eating a sandwich.
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The missus has bought scented toilet paper, so I’ve been walking about with an arse smelling of cinnamon.
BBC
I’ve always taken drugs and probably always will. But there’s a difference between having the odd crafty bump up the snout as a reward for a job well done and letting it rule your life. It’s not like I’m a Blue Peter presenter, is it?
Beautiful summer’s day. Such a shame the flies are floating about. The shit-eating busy pricks.
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All the money in the world won’t help you unless you can get up in the morning, look in the mirror and be satisfied that you’re not one of life’s slags.
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You’re going in for a drink and a laugh with your mates. You don’t need a six-course Thai menu and an interior by Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen to do that.
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Thirty-five fucking films. Some of them are shit, I’ll hold me hands up. Every actor has made shit films. Michael Caine is well-known for making shit films but he’s still a national treasure.
BBC
Embrace your insecurities and contradictions. Don’t let ‘em drown the fuck out of ya.
I’ve got a bit more sophisticated in my old age. I like a bit of Jasmine tea.
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Currently sucking the life out of a Whisky sour…or is it the other way round? I can never remember.
I love my baby girl with all my heart. But I can’t wait for her to whack that blazer on tomorrow and get back in that fucking school.
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Danny Dyer's Right Royal Family starts tonight a 9pm on BBC One.
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