Terence Blacker: Just how grave is sex addiction?

Would it be heartless to suggest that here is one problem we don't need to worry about?

Terence Blacker
Friday 02 December 2011 01:00
Comments

It is time to brace ourselves for more bad news. The cover story in this week's Newsweek reveals a new epidemic which already has an estimated nine million Americans in its grip. This scourge is more frightening than bird flu, in that carriers of the condition are everywhere – in society, in the home. It could, as Ant and Dec might say, be you.

The disease is sex addiction, or, if you prefer a fancy name, hypersexual disorder. A blight of unzipped incidents is destroying marriages. Careers are being cut short by a thrumming over-enthusiasm for online porn. Heartbreaking stories are being told. "I was meeting girls on the basketball court, in the club, pulling my car over to meet them on the street," a man attending a Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous clinic confessed to Newsweek.

Like all good epidemics, sex addiction has inspired media spin-offs. A reality TV show called Bad Sex traces the progress of a group of men and women with "severe sex issues". Shame, the much-touted new movie by the British director Steve McQueen, is an unflinching study of a man who is tragically enslaved to lust.

Would it be heartless to suggest that, in a crisis-riddled world, here is one problem we should not spend too much time worrying about? We live in an over-stimulated society in which people may well spend more time on sex (thinking it, dreaming it, sometimes even doing it) than in the past. Insecurity and social anxiety have sharpened the need for attention, however brief, and for validation, however meaningless. But an epidemic? Surely this is a panic too far.

There are, of course, people with behavioural difficulties which are expressed through a compulsion – food, exercise, fandom, sex – but most of the nine million people allegedly suffering from hypersexual disorder are simply taking what modern life has to offer. Unlike Brian Sewell, whose thousand-lovers-a-year habit is happily recounted in his recently published memoirs ("It was sheer intoxication with the sudden ease of it"), they have then felt mortified and have blamed their weakness on a disease.

If you are an addict, you are a victim. A bit of cod science about dependency on dopamine in the brain usefully removes the problem of moral choice. It excuses the weak, the selfish, the mindlessly randy by placing their problem outside their lives. If there is an epidemic going on, who can be blamed for becoming infected?

Weirdly, the transformation of old-fashioned promiscuity into a medical condition also has the effect of demonising a certain type of sex. It is the pornified generation's version of the fear of "nymphomania" in the 1950s or of masturbation in the Victorian age. Perhaps it is not "sex addicts" who are in need of treatment but the self-dramatising, blame-shifting culture in which they live.

www.terenceblacker.com

Register for free to continue reading

Registration is a free and easy way to support our truly independent journalism

By registering, you will also enjoy limited access to Premium articles, exclusive newsletters, commenting, and virtual events with our leading journalists

Please enter a valid email
Please enter a valid email
Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number
Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number
Must be at least 6 characters, include an upper and lower case character and a number
Please enter your first name
Special characters aren’t allowed
Please enter a name between 1 and 40 characters
Please enter your last name
Special characters aren’t allowed
Please enter a name between 1 and 40 characters
You must be over 18 years old to register
You must be over 18 years old to register
Opt-out-policy
You can opt-out at any time by signing in to your account to manage your preferences. Each email has a link to unsubscribe.

By clicking ‘Create my account’ you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use, Cookie policy and Privacy notice.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy policy and Terms of service apply.

Already have an account? sign in

By clicking ‘Register’ you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use, Cookie policy and Privacy notice.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy policy and Terms of service apply.

Register for free to continue reading

Registration is a free and easy way to support our truly independent journalism

By registering, you will also enjoy limited access to Premium articles, exclusive newsletters, commenting, and virtual events with our leading journalists

Already have an account? sign in

By clicking ‘Register’ you confirm that your data has been entered correctly and you have read and agree to our Terms of use, Cookie policy and Privacy notice.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy policy and Terms of service apply.

Join our new commenting forum

Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies

Comments

Thank you for registering

Please refresh the page or navigate to another page on the site to be automatically logged inPlease refresh your browser to be logged in